Grief & The Healing Power of Writing
Writing helps us lighten our emotional load when we’re holding the weight of grief.
You don’t have to be a prolific writer or fan or journaling. Putting pen to paper is transformative in and of itself. Here are some benefits to writing when we’re grieving:
1. Processing Emotions
Writing allows us to express and process complex emotions that may feel overwhelming or hard to articulate in conversation. Grief can bring up a range of feelings—sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, even relief—and writing provides a safe space to explore and release these emotions without judgment. Journaling or writing letters (even to the person you've lost) can help clarify your thoughts and offer a sense of emotional release.
2. Externalizing Pain
Putting our felt grief into words can externalize the pain, giving us a way to “talk” about it when it feels hard, or even if it feels like no one around us can fully understand what we’re going through. This helps to create some distance between the grief and yourself, which can offer relief. It’s a way of confronting the emotion without being consumed by it.
3. Creating Meaning
Writing about our loved one, the relationship with them, or our experiences can help create meaning out of loss. This might involve writing stories, memories, or even poems about the person, as well as reflecting on the positive impact they had on our life. It can transform grief from feeling unbearable and unfair into a sense of meaning and gratitude.
4. Tracking Progress
Grief isn’t linear! Though, writing can serve as a way to track our emotional and psychological process and progress over time. Looking back on earlier entries might reveal how feelings have evolved, showing signs of healing and growth. This can be validating when it feels like healing isn’t happening at the rate we want it to or hoped for.
5. Providing a Sense of Control
Grief often feels out of our control, especially when it’s sudden or unexpected. Writing can give us back a sense of agency, as it’s something we can choose to do on our own terms. Writing may also provide structure in a time when everything feels chaotic, disoriented or disorganized.
6. Connecting with Others
Some people find it healing to share their grief in writing, whether through personal blogs, social media posts, or letters to friends or family. This form of sharing can invite support, empathy, and connection with others who might be experiencing similar emotions. It might also foster deeper understanding between ourselves and those who do not feel the loss as we do.
7. Releasing Unspoken Thoughts
Sometimes, there are things we wish we could have said to the person we’ve lost, but never had the chance to. Writing allows for those words to be said, even if they’re never outwardly heard. Writing letters to loved one, telling them everything we didn’t get to say, or simply expressing the things we wish we could share with them now is cathartic and often deeply healing.
8. Catharsis
Writing can serve as a form of catharsis, helping to release pent-up emotion. Many people find that after writing about their grief, they feel lighter or more at peace, having let go of some of the emotional weight through the act of writing.
Tips for Writing through Grief:
Start small: If writing feels overwhelming, start with short journal entries or lists of feelings, memories, or even things you wish you could say.
Write without self-judgment: Let your thoughts flow freely. There are no wrong or right ways to express grief.
Be patient with yourself: Remember, you don’t have to be Shakespeare or Jane Austen. Grief writing doesn’t need to make sense or be polished. It’s about the process, not the product.
Christine Slomski is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in anxiety, trauma, grief & loss, chronic illness, infertility counseling, and women’s mental health.
Hi, I’m Christine Slomski, a Licensed Professional Counselor, EFT Tapping Practitioner & Reproductive Grief Care Specialist in Arizona. I’m here to help you find your way back to Calm.
My work supports healing from within, using a Mind, Heart, Body, and Spirit model. I’m professionally and personally qualified to walk with you through the hard places, believing you already have within you the components to heal, transform, and thrive.
With love,
Christine